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Sans regret – a memoir


I saw a thought provoking post at ADarkenedHouse which was in response to a prompt and the word is “void”.   Check out this post and if you are interested in responding to the prompt check out the instructions at Tuesdayuseitinasentence.

I decided to write a story/post and end it with the prompted sentence.

Sans regret, a memoir

©Clr'16
©Clr’16

The girls heard a commotion upstairs.  They turned off the television  and stared at each other, too stunned and scared to speak.  Lana held on to Jacko, the miniature black poodle who would not stop whining and Pam held on to Jamie, the Scottie who kept barking like a great Dane.

Usually when their father arrived from work in the evening, the house was silent.  The teens ran off to their bedrooms pretending to study or read a book hoping he would not come in to say they had forgotten a chore.

The dogs ran into the master bedroom hiding under the bed on the side of their mother.

Their father would make a sandwich with Spam and plum sauce and sit in his armchair reading the paper.  Sometimes he listened to a game on the radio. The only television was in the playroom downstairs.

Their mother might be speaking to a friend or relative on the phone, speaking in French in a low tone so their father would not understand and then get ready for bed to avoid any insults or complaints. She would probably be asleep by the time their father turned in, and still be sleeping when their father woke up at dawn.

But tonight, something was going on and it was not their father criticizing or nit-picking about the cleanliness of the house.  No, tonight, they were pretty sure they heard their mother screaming and crying.

They both tiptoed up the stairs and sat on the top step peering into the kitchen.  Their mother was screaming and this time their father seemed to be talking in a low tone as if he was trying to calm her down. The mother went to the sink and opened the drawer to the utensils and took out a butcher knife and ran screaming to their father raising her hand with the knife.

“You’re going to tell me the truth, damn it!”

He mumbled something and she put the knife back on the counter and went back to the living room, sitting on the footstool facing their father.

Oliana barely heard what their father said but the wail of pain that came out of their mother’s tiny body was excruciating to hear. Kim’s face was void of any expression as she went to her room and closed the door.

The knife was still on the counter;  Lana snuck in quietly and picked up the knife with the black handle and long blade. Her hands shook as she put it in the pantry behind the big box of Corn Flakes.

Tossing and turning that night, Lana kept hearing her father repeating the same thing over and over.

After seventeen years of enduring his drinking, his violence and his cheating, he told her, void of any trace of remorse,  “I’m just tired of pretending to love you.”

The End.

©Oliana Kim ’16

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64 years of hair…


After reading Karuna’s post on hair at LivinglearningandLettingGo, Sreejit’s at TheSeeker`sDungeon and the very first blogger who wrote about hair, Marilyn at Serendipity, I decided to write one as well. (By the way, all three of these bloggers are also published authors…yes, indeed!! I have read their books too!

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I look at that photo below and I used to think the sun had bleached it. My mother only told me about fifteen years ago that she had highlighted it. Hmm, here I thought I was so cute then but I was artificially beautified! And from then, it just went downhill and into the sins of vanity…(sigh!)

Highlights at four!
Highlights at four!

Well, I certainly did not have any hair until I was a year old and even then. My mother started back to work when I was 3 weeks old, so she would plop me chair with pillows and a bottle.  If I woke up, a customer gladly held me as my mother’s beauty parlor was next to our living room.  I think the sound of the dryers made me sleep a long time.

 

I had dirty blonde hair as a young child and my sister had red hair which everyone raved about how lovely her hair was.  When I was four I cried to my mom because I didn’t want to have mousy or dirty blonde hair.  Mom put highlights in my hair.  Yep, at 4!

Me on the left, my sister, right.

Me on the left, with my sister.

My mom styled our hair on the above photo.  I hated my hair like that but hey, it was the style. I was 10 and my sister 12.

My hair was straight, very fine but I had a lot of it.  When I was 11, I had my hair cut by someone other than my mother at a stylist in Montreal and she kept complaining how thick my hair was.  I did not like her too much.  However, I did hear that a lot later on.  Hairdressers complaining how long it took to dry my hair, charging me double for colouring my hair because they took twice as much; that’s why I rarely see a hairdresser to colour my hair…I learned from the best…my mom!

Me at 13
My school picture at 13

I did not have very short hair until my sister made a boo boo.  I was four or five and I asked my sister to take my pony tail off…she cut it off! That was the end of my long hair for a very very long time.  Only my sister had long hair my mother cut short every three or four years.  I didn’t much care because I hated to have the tangles combed out of my hair…that hurt!  So I had short hair for as long as I can remember.

At 11 I did let them grow a little to have a short bob to match some of the fans of the Beatles of course and kept that style for a few years.  And then Mia Farrow got her hair cut very short by  the stylist, Sassoon …well, I had to have mine cut short like hers and had that style off an on most of my teenage and adult life.  I let them grow just barely touching my shoulders for my wedding and a week after I chopped them off.  I had no patience putting rollers in my hair and even worse, sleeping with those…no, I wanted  to be able to wash and go style.

Me at 18 with my husband to be
Me at 17 with my husband to be – married at 19
Chantal Renaud in L'Initiation 1970
Chantal Renaud in L’Initiation 1970

I remember styling my hair at 18 to look like a famous Québecois actress in 1970, Chantal Renaud from the movie L’Initiation.  I saw that movie with my mother and I was so embarassed at one particular sex scene. My mother kept whispering to me, “What are they doing?”

 

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Me at 18 trying to look aloof

I remember spending so much time on my hair to give it the “uncombed look”!  As you can see below, I did not quite capture Miss Renaud but I felt pretty at the time.

 

I wore my wedding dress (altered) for the christianing of my son. The furnace broke down at the church, so it was performed at our home...I really loved that christianing. January 7 1979
Yes, that is an afro…1978

I wore my wedding dress (altered) for the christianing of my son. The furnace broke down at the church, so it was performed at our home…I really loved that christianing. January 7 1979  My hair was natural…boy it got dark after the birth! And yep, I had a perm…

This was the year following the birth of my son
This was the year following the birth of my son…blonder but still another perm

I kept my hair natural until my son was one. But once I stopped work for five years with the two children, I tried to keep them natural for a little while and tried to let them grow. I managed to get them past my shoulders which was the first time in 1984 since I was a child.  It didn’t last long and I wish I had more photos of my bleached blonde hair, purple and orange but working on the blog, searching through old photos, I realize that I take most of the photos…

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1985

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Of course once I started back to work when my youngest was 5, I cut them again…less trouble. I had a short bob dyed blonde and would shave the back a few inches…of course I never dyed underneath since I would shave it so often.  I was working in home care then, and a man I was seeing for a year, a few days before he died, he asked me why my hair was short and dark brown in the back…I cannot believe he waited so long to ask me!

By then I was keeping my hair quite short so I could change colour every other month.  I was a night person and my husband a morning person…so one night I decided to colour my hair brown from light blonde.  I did not realize that the colour would turn out much darker than I wanted and it turned out black/brown.  I went to bed and my husband was already sleeping.  When he woke up in the morning, he gasped when he saw me!

43
43 Graduating my degree finally!

We went camping not long after and my husband’s buddies all thought I was a mistress…they were all winking at my husband.  Haha, when I brought the children to the pool, they were all smiling at me and when they heard me speak in English to the children, they recognized it was me…they looked so silly!!

I would use clippers at a number 2 or 3 and just leave a bang so I could spike it.  My daughter asked me one night as I was spiking my hair and getting ready to go to a school committee meeting, “Mommy, why can’t you look like other mommies?”  I said, “because that`s boring.”  The children did not like the changes too much but their friends did.

42

 

I started letting my hair grow long for the first time…really long at 39 years old. People kept saying to stop wearing black at 40 and to cut your hair shorter at 40.  Well, I do like to do the opposite of what most do.  Working in homecare I would often bathe clients and fix their hair. One lovely lady in her 90`s had long white silky hair. I would braid them and I thought to myself, “That is what I want when I get older.”

Me (45) and Mom on Mother’s Day

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When I separated my hair was very long but it was falling due to stress…and Pulp Fiction just came out and I loved Winona Ryder`s hair…so I coloured my hair dark brown and cut them to a long bob.

Moving to Toronto I found myself being a bit more conservative …no more red, purple or orange hair. So I went from blond to brown and blond again.   Toronto is not as eclectic as in Montreal.   So I think I need to add that in my living will…if I have dementia like my mother, I want to insist they keep my hair long and just braid it.

These are my Nana photos, taken after my grandson was born 20049+++

 

©Clr'16 (Me at work)
©Clr’16 (Me at work)

Today my hair is quite long despite what some say about that once you hit 40.  I often tell those who still echo that, “Would I look better with tight curls and blue hair? Does shorter hair make my wrinkles disappear?”  I rest my case.

 

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Dear Emma,


What the heck is wrong with me, I thought to myself.  I just watched a great movie but my goodness, another tear jerker.   Having growing up in a railway town, I was attracted to the title, “Railway Man”…but I certainly recommend it.

This afternoon I wanted to read the 2nd sequel of Girl and the Dragon Tatoo, “The Girl who Played with Fire.”  I bought the trilogy a few years ago but I didn’t remember the ending of the first book, so I finally watched the movie on Netflix.  It had been long enough since I read the book that I could enjoy it.  I tried two years ago and I kept comparing the girl with the dragon tattoo to the image I had of her in the book…well, this time it was fine.  I also miss holding a real book in my hands…sure e-readers are lightweight and all but I do miss the feel and smell of paper.

It was a sunny day today and I was supposed to go cycling since tomorrow the forecast is rain but yesterday I had not had my “vege day”.  That is the first day of my weekend, where I sleep in really late, make a couple cups of coffee and read or write until late in the afternoon.  I had an appointment at the bank, then my son came over after his day at school (teachers are in this week for training until next week when the students start) and he offered bring me to the hardware store. I took advantage of the fact that he has a car.  He stayed until his girlfriend finished work which is well into the evening.  I enjoyed my day and love spontaneous visits like that…well, with my kids, I mean.  I expect he will be dropping by often since his school is around the corner.

So today, I woke up and kept saying to myself…ah, later…Ill go at 14:00, then I thought, Oh, heck, Ill go at 17:00 and check out the sunset at the park near the river…then I said, nope, I`m going to do some cooking and then watch another movie.

I did a bit of writing for a speech I will be giving at a breakfast out West for donors who support our youth line.  That is not until a few weeks still but I need to start getting ready….I sure hope I don’t get all nervous.  When that happens in front of a large crowd, my chin starts to shake…well, let’s hope that doesn’t happen.  The only thing I don’t like about the trip is there are no direct flights and the connections that they have offered me are between 2 and three hours which really does not make sense.  I checked on the airline myself tonight and there are better choices, so I may have to ask my manger to look into it otherwise I will be travelling 7 to 8 hours on a trip that normally takes 4!

I still have two more days off…August is such a great month besides the 10 days off I had, I am working only three days a week…love these long weekends.  I could get used to this.  Maybe next year, three days will be in order.  For now, I am quite pleased with four days.  The schedule starts at the end of September and I will now be working Tuesday to Friday.  So, finally I will have Mondays free to volunteer in the evening with groups to support friends and families of those who have a mental health condition.

Here is a trailer of the movie…

The Railway Man TRAILER 1 (2013) – Nicole Kidman, Colin Firth Movie HD

 

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45 years – that is of marriage


Thoughts of love, marriage but without the horse and carriage…

I watched the movie 45 Years tonight.  Of course with mixed feelings and melancholy.  This past April would have been 45 years I might have been married if I had not divorced after 26 years.  Everytime there is an anniversary of 30  years of marriage or more I do think about “if that would have been us” or “if I would have stayed in the marriage”.  A huge part of me is still romantic and I do believe in love but I also am realistic.

The movie went through feelings the husband was feeling when he heard a week before his 45th wedding anniversary party that his girlfriend of 47 years ago was found…she had died but was never found so now he was living through so many emotions. Some he could share with his wife but so many…not.  That is all I will share not to spoil it for those who have not seen the movie.

As I watched the celebration among friends I felt happy for those who do get old and are able to celebrate with the love of their life.  It is endearing and I know life is not all rosy all of the time.  My close friend of over 40 years is a perfect example of a true love…endearing and enduring.  Her and her husband have been together for 60 years and you can feel the love between them, they still hold hands and sit close together at restaurants as if they were still teenagers…it warms my heart to see them.

Do I have any regrets? No, not really…I am content with my life as it is…I was far lonelier in my marriage than I could ever be living alone.  But I still  do believe in love.  I suppose I would not be inclined to write if I did not…especially love poems.

What are your thoughts about this …love, marriage and if you have seen the movie 45 years, I would love to read your impressions on this movie.

I watched the movie 45 Years tonight.  Of course with mixed feelings and melancholy.  This past April would have been 45 years I might have been married if I had not divorced after 26 years.  Everytime there is an anniversary of 30  years of marriage or more I do think about “if that would have been us” or “if I would have stayed in the marriage”.  A huge part of me is still romantic and I do believe in love but I also am realistic.

The movie went through feelings the husband was feeling when he heard a week before his 45th wedding anniversary party that his girlfriend of 47 years ago was found…she had died but was never found so now he was living through so many emotions. Some he could share with his wife but so many…not.  That is all I will share not to spoil it for those who have not seen the movie.

As I watched the celebration among friends I felt happy for those who do get old and are able to celebrate with the love of their life.  It is endearing and I know life is not all rosy all of the time.  My close friend of over 40 years is a perfect example of a true love…endearing and enduring.  Her and her husband have been together for 60 years and you can feel the love between them, they still hold hands and sit close together at restaurants as if they were still teenagers…it warms my heart to see them.

Do I have any regrets? No, not really…I am content with my life as it is…I was far lonelier in my marriage than I could ever be living alone.  But I still  do believe in love.  I suppose I would not be inclined to write if I did not…especially love poems.

What are your thoughts about this …love, marriage and if you have seen the movie 45 years, I would love to read your impressions on this movie.

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Dear Emma,


I know I have not written as much lately.  It has be sporadic and although I still love to write my haiku daily at Tournesol dans un Jardin, I am not finding myself pulled.  I may see something in nature that may inspire me and if, it relates to a daily prompt, then I can tie the two together but ultimately, Emma, I think my muse is tired or needs a wider range of inspiration.

I have started reading more every week, two to three novels and that is very enjoyable. It helps when you discover new writers.  I finished the Erin Solomon Series by Jen Blood during my road trip and now I am on a new author, V. J. Chambers.  I am currently reading the “Blond Noir” series.  I love how she writes.

I wish I could write without getting bored with my writing.  That is what has happened in my past experiences.  And today as I was sitting at the atrium at 1000 la Gauchetière, watching the people skate and munching on my turkey/brie wrap, I thought of a character I would like to include in a story or book some day. Then I thought, gee, maybe I should develop some of these ideas. I mean, Emma, I have started one storyline with my father as a character, another with my grandmother and one with an eighty-eight year old woman who was a nun for 20 years.  But after a few pages, I get bored…stuck.

Jen Blood who wrote the Erin Solomon Mystery series also is a professional editor and has written a book, “Creating Complex Characters: The 5-Day Fiction Fix at a mere 3.99$, so I may check it out.

Two days ago I went to Montreal to see my doctor and then I shopped a bit but by the time I was finished it was rush hour and sure did not want to sit in a crowded bus on my last long day weekend. So I figured I would go to see a movie across the street from the Alexis Nihon Plaza where the Montreal Forum used to be.  The only movie that was not a kiddie movie (I like to reserve those to watch with my grandson) was  In Pursuit of Peace.  So I got a huge pretzel and cola and went to see that.

The theatre was almost empty.  Only about three older women (Probably close to my age really…so I should say “seasoned” women) and me…alright, let’s just say we were about five baby boomers.  The movie was an 86 minute documentary about unarmed civilian peacemaking and mediation as a response to violent international conflict.

We follow four Canadian peacemakers as they take us into their work in some of the world’s hottest conflict zones…land disputes in the Congo, the civil war in South Sudan, Northern Iraq and stories of mediation and much more.  The original French version À la poursuite de la paix was launched last year and the English version this year.

<iframe src=”https://player.vimeo.com/video/150351138&#8243; width=”640″ height=”360″ frameborder=”0″ webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen allowfullscreen>
<p><a href=”https://vimeo.com/150351138″>In Pursuit of Peace – Trailer</a> from <a href=”https://vimeo.com/user1179374″>Garry Beitel</a> on <a href=”https://vimeo.com”>Vimeo</a&gt;.</p>

I really enjoyed it…although it did move me…could not help but be touched by the stories these humanitarians are exposed to…the trauma so many people experience.  How ironic that last week I had watched on Netflix, The Good Lie, the Lost Boys of Sudan, about 4 young War refugees adapting to their new home in America.  It was very moving watching especially the children walking thousands of miles across the desert to get to a refugee camp.

What Moved Reese Witherspoon to Make “The Good Lie”

Perhaps, it was not a coincidence…maybe I am looking to pursue other ventures when I retire or sooner.   When the children were little I belonged to Amnesty International Canada  but I could not get as involved as I can now.  I may check again there and Oxfam to see how I can get more involved and help.

As to writing…well, I am going to try and at least write a haiku or journal every day…however short to stay connected to my passion of the written word.

When I came back from Montreal the sun had already set and I could see the sky with blotches of dark pink mixed with grey and shooting lines near the horizon in dark red. It was as if the sky was bleeding.  I wrote this troiku to describe this:

(c)Clr'16
©Clr.16

blazing sunset 
makes the sky bleed
holds me in awe

blazing sunset
caught my eye
tripped on a pebble

makes the sky bleed
not a sound is heard
silent seagulls gaze

holds me in awe
seized in rapture
a long moment

(c) Tournesol’16-08-22

Last night, I looked up at the sky getting off the bus at midnight and was stunned to see the huge pink moon.  It is third quarter but it looked like a big fat pink balloon!  I knew I could never capture the beauty in the sky.

 

last night
the sky bled
tonight the moon blushed

©Tournesol’16/08/23

Today, I started my day with a lovely visit. My son had just gone to the school to get his schedule where he will be teaching this year around the corner from my apartment.  How lovely!! Maybe we can have lunch several times that can make a break in the day for him and wonderful way to start my day before I walk to the bus.

Thanks for listening, Emma, as always you allow me the space I need to just talk.

©Oliana 2016/08/24

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Wordless Wednesdays


(c) Clr’16
(c)Clr’16
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Kimbra – Plain Gold Ring -for Song Lyric Sunday


I’m a bit late having returned late Sunday from my vacation…so here is catching up.  The theme at Song Lyric Sunday was to share a song that you recently heard and fell it love with for the first time.
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A colleague told me about this singer when she found out I like Holly Cole. I fell in love with Kimbra right away especially her studio live performances.  Plain Gold Ring is a song that moves me and when you hear Kimbra, I am pretty sure you will be transported as well.
Lyrics

Plain gold ring on his finger he wore
It was where everyone could see
He belonged to someone, but not me
On his hand was a plain gold ring

Plain gold ring had a story to tell
It was one that I knew too well
And in my heart it will never be spring
Long as he wears that plain gold ring

Nighttime comes calling on me
I know why I’ll never be free
I can’t stop these teardrops of mine
I’m gonna love him till the end of time

Plain gold ring has but one thing to say
I’ll remember till my dying days
In my heart it will never be spring
Long as he wears that plain gold ring

Plain gold ring on his finger he wore
Plain gold ring on his finger he wore
Plain gold ring on his finger he wore
Plain gold ring on his finger he wore

Written by Stone • Copyright © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Peermusic Publishing
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I’ve missed you (free verse)


How I’ve missed you,
dear heart
days and nights
without you
filled with ennui
sans mots
verse completely lost
syllables at bay
cicadas mocking
every word
muting all with ease

sunsets left hanging
holding every breath
waiting for a sign
yet no words did shine

skies filled with shooting stars
hogging all the show
never making room
surely made you go,
lyrics held at bay

moon casts a lovely glow
hangs upon the lake
lovers slyly holding hands
adolescent promises

giggles from the sand
afterglow of impish smiles
‘round a beach bonfire
time just stops for a night
never to retire
printing timeless memories
never to retire

sit beneath the willow
breathing in the night
waiting for a subtle sign
not a tinge brings light

heatwave melts the day
cicadas mockingly
silence words astray
push my muse away.

© Oliana ’16/08/16

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Dear Emma, My summer road trip


Day 1

The Trip was delayed by a few hours as I did not get my car last night.  Also, traffic on the bridge and several miles ahead construction factored in, took me three times longer to get to the main Highway 20 “Autoroute de souvenirs” which turns into 401 “Highway of Heroes” once you hit Ontario moving along West.

This is the first time I am travelling with a GPS…It’s like having a backseat driver…she warns me when I am going over the speed limit!! (smiles) I guess I sort of need that plus since I decided to travel on the old highway 2 to get to Kingston, I would be going through towns and areas where the speed limit varies. It’s not always easy to figure out when to slow down in some places.

Once I got to Cornwall, I got off the 401 to change to Hwy 2 which is by the water most of the way to Kingston.  I saw so many geese!!! I could not find a spot to stop and take a few photos but I have plenty of time for that. I am just enjoying the slow drive.  And if I don’t get to take a photo, I have it imprinted in my memory.  I jot down a few notes now and then to remember for later writing.

My first stop for lunch and coffee was at a Tim’s in Morrisburg, On.  People are so friendly…I feel like I’m in my hometown listening to a group of locals kibitzing together. The service was so friendly and quick too!

As I was waiting in line to go to the washroom there were two tables with older men chatting away.  One seemed to take on the role of adversary challenging the others.    He was saying how Trump was a self-made man and to have made it where he is in business he had to be pretty darn smart.  The others all chuckled and muttered something or other of being relieved not having him run as Prime Minister of Canada.

They looked like a great group of friends who get together for coffee at Tim’s. Now, THAT, is something I want to do when I retire…find a meeting place at least twice a week…well, now, why not every morning during the week for an hour or so?  It is a great way to start the day, get out of the house and once you’re out you are most likely to avoid crawling back into bed.  Yep, that is one of the things to remember when I stop working “for money” because I still intend to volunteer at AMI Quebec supporting families and friends who struggle with mental illness.

(c) Clr'16 Prescott, On.
(c) Clr’16 Prescott, On.

I stopped a few times by the lake just…because (smiles).  I tell ya, the moment I saw the water on my drive, I felt my chest swell and suddenly I knew how to truly breathe.  I just love the water. And driving anywhere on vacation feels more like a summer retreat.

I took a few photos at the first stop at Prescott and just relaxed at the marina for about 30 minutes.  The towns I passed through thereafter reminded me of small American towns when I was growing up like Swanton or St-Albans, Vermont.  The buildings were so similar…all a New England look.

I was reminded of an old fling in Brockville. I remember how I fell in love with that town by the St-Lawrence seaway.  The person was a professional musician having performed for Calgary Symphony Orchestra and he was also a composer and history teacher. Such an interesting man he was.  I remember he was the only person who had told me while stroking my face (without his glasses…he was literally blind without them) and he whispered “You are going to age beautifully.”  I was touched…not something you expect to hear in your mid 40`s when you have just started dating again after more than 25 years.  But it has truly moved me.

I arrived in Kingston around five which was rush hour traffic and decided to relax a bit in my room that I had rented.  Dave, the man who owned the house and rented most of the rooms in his house for AirBnB was really nice and easy to talk to. I think he must be at least 6’6’. (I later found out he was 6’11 ½”)

My room was upstairs and I was so relieved when he said I could turn on the AC in the room…I truly needed that.

At seven I freshened up and changed to go out for dinner. I asked Dave if it was too far to walk towards the lake.  He said it was about 2 km…and it should be safe coming back…maybe the only person who may approach me late at night would be a guy selling weed. Well, now, no problem there…the only weed I like are dandelions.

(c) Clr'16
(c) Clr’16

The first part of Princess Street, which is the main drag in Kingston was a bit sketchy at first but not much different than pockets of Yonge St in Toronto or Ste Catherine in Montreal.  I made it to the lake in time before the sun set…although I could not see the sun, I did see the glow and sky changing.  Boats were coming in and it felt so refreshing just being by the water.

(c) Clr'16 Kingston, ON
(c) Clr’16 Kingston, ON

Facing the lake is Kingston City Hall…it looks like a parliament building…and the park in front has water spraying. It is a lovely park filled with tourists but not too many like some cities.  Front street reminded me of Old Montreal and a tiny bit of Toronto’s lakeshore at the end of York Street behind Second Cup.  I felt at home here…and I liked that the town is smaller but has all the beauty and “cachet” of cities by the water.

Why am I mentioning this?  I am travelling and checking out areas I may decided to retire …here there is a university (Queens),  college (St Lawrence) and people are really friendly.  Something to think about.

There were many terraces and restaurants to choose from but the first one that caught my eye was a Scottish pub…and so I walked in wondering if I could ask for a seat on the patio…the bartender welcomed me in and told me to sit anywhere.  The Celtic music drew me in and I decided to take  a corner table.

The young man recommended the salmon and brie panini which was delicious with a nice cool Tennents Lager, a perfect blend with the Scottish music in the background.

Walking back seemed a bit trying.  I had not realized I was walking the 3.5 km uphill!  But I took my time and it seemed faster since I knew where I was going.  When I arrived, the host and friends were entertaining a few friends and you could still smell scent of weed lingering which accounted  for the dazed and mellow look of a few.  I showered and went straight to bed and was relieved there was an a/c in the bedroom upstairs at 30+ C plus humidity, I would have melted.

Day 2

Woke up at 8 which, for me, is like getting up at the crack of dawn.  I dressed and packed dying for a coffee and too shy to ask the host.  As I walked out back, the host and his friends were sitting at a table.  I started chatting a bit and ended up sitting down and chatting some more for 2 HOURS!

After turning in circles, I finally got on Hwy 2 but I was getting further from the lake… so much for driving on slow routes and not seeing much. But there is not just the lake on country roads, right? I do enjoy going through the towns. The old buildings in their downtown core remind me of American towns in Vermont near the lake.

After an hour of driving,  I saw the sign, “Entering Mohawk territory”. I stopped about fifteen minutes later to gas up and get a cup of coffee. I had not had my caffeine fix and it was 11:30!!  As I parked my car to get gas, a man waved to me shouting, “back up a bit more, Dear.” Wow! 89cents a litre and service!  And friendly as well!  I ended up going next door for a meatball sub and coffee.  After that I drove up to Trenton and decided to get to Hwy 401, so I could beat the rush hour traffic crossing Toronto.

By the time I was an hour from Toronto, I hear on 680 News the 407 (a toll hwy parallel to 401)there was an accident and metal spilled all over the highway at Dixie. Well, that was close to where I was headed which means rush hour traffic would be diverted to 401.  Traffic was slow but by the time I got to Etobicoke (where I used to live) I got off the clogged highway and cut through a street that would take me quicker to the QEW to get to Oakville. My aunt and uncle were expecting me for supper and I wanted to get to the airbnb before to get the keys to the condo.

I got there by 17:00; the woman was friendly and we got to speaking of India when she noticed my mala beads around my neck and wrists. She told me she had lived several years in  India and she was from the town where  I am currently living…that’s right, from Brossard, Quebec. This is the second person I have rented a room in Oakville who are from Quebec.

Day 3

I was pleased to see that my uncle and aunt were quite well despite their struggles with old age.  The next day, they were going over to their son’s to celebrate her 87th birthday.  I offered to drive them back and forth so my aunt could have an extra glass of wine and just enjoy herself.

We brought along my aunt’s IPad so my cousin’s son could help me figure out how to configure it to make it easier for her to use.  We ended the evening early and by the time I got to my airbnb,  a migraine was simmering. I stayed up most of the  night feeling such pain and nausea.  I was up at 4 packing and getting ready to leave.  But I couldn’t leave for Lake Erie that early before going to my aunt to show her how to use her IPad.

Day 4 & 5

I went to the closest Tim Horton’s and had an early breakfast, nodding off now and then in front of my tablet.

Later, my uncle was disappointed with all the time spent on trying to show my aunt how to navigate on the Ipad and less time with a “real visit”. (sigh)  I can’t say that I blame him…I don’t get to visit them often.

I was  delighted when they told me they wanted me to have my grandmother’s porcelain dinner set. I have such fond memories of my childhood visiting my grandmother in Montreal. They felt, since I had a car on this visit, it would be a good time to give me the dinnerware now rather than later.  I decided to get wrapping paper and sturdy boxes at U-Haul and would pick them up on my way back from Port Burwell.

The drive to Lake Erie was only 2 hours but with only one hour of sleep, I had to stop halfway in Ingersoll to rest my eyes and finally gave into one can of Red Bull…it does the trick and probably because I only drink this when I am really stuck driving long distances.   One every five or more years is a pretty good average and is not bad for my health at that rate.

The rest of the drive was so pretty once I got off the freeway; the hills and curves and countryside made the ride all more pleasant.  I was glad I had to slow down in lots of places so I could take advantage of the landscape.

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I arrived Port Burwell at 15:30 under a blistering sun. It was 33C plus the humidity. The owners greeted me walking from their pool.  Five minutes under that sun and I could see why one can only endure this heat in the water or indoors with an a/c. Well, they did not have any a/c in their lovely 100 year old home of over 3,000 square feet.  It was like walking into an art nook.  Ann is an artist and so many of her paintings hang in the sun room, living room and bedrooms upstairs.

The couple were so friendly and easy to talk to.  They lived near Oakville 10 years and yes, even Montreal for 10 years.  They were both originally from UK and I thought I recognized his accent .  He talked exactly like my friend from Manchester and the day I left, I did ask him where he was from…Manchester.

Graham brought my suitcase up to my room and explained that the ceiling fan and table fan work well. Nope, sorry, they did not!  I went for a dip in their pool to cool off and then walked over to the beach which was a five minute walk.  It felt so good to be by the water.  Little did I know that I would be spending much of my time under the shade of the trees just above the beach those two days hunting for some breeze.

The first day and evening I walked along the beach and watched the sun set later after dinner. I never saw so many gulls just standing at attention. A little boy ran through them screaming and they flew away for only a few seconds and took position once more.  It was so peaceful hearing the waves as many of us just watched the sky change colour.

The next morning unfortunately, my migraine returned and stayed most of the two days despite the medication I take.  I really must insist on a/c in future summer accommodations.    I stayed by the lake most of the time, reading my book and dozing off and on when the breeze cooled me just enough to feel comfortable.

I certainly want to come back here BUT definitely in spring or fall…yes, when I can feel a nice cool breeze in the window of my bedroom.

The village was so quaint with a few eateries that specialized in fish platters and several hot dog stands.  My first night, I had dinner at The Lighthouse, sitting on the patio.  I got there in time for they close early and the other couple staying at my B & B arrived fifteen minutes after me and it was too late.  Phew! Lucky me munching on my fresh catch of the day, perch from Lake Erie.

I took a few pictures of the village and lake but the last night there, the half-moon was so bright and shining over the lake was breathtaking. No photo gave it justice …I stayed out there as late as I could because I knew how hot it would be in my bedroom.

The town is also known for an old submarine at the museum but due to the heat, I just could not tear myself away to go.  Maybe I will come back with my grandson…I think he would enjoy it here.

(c) Clr'16
(c) Clr’16

I stayed by the lake for as late as I could before the B & B would lock their doors.  It was so peaceful seeing the half moon over the lake.

It was a full house that last night…two other couples had booked and we stayed out late on the balcony chatting.  One man said the next morning, he wanted to sleep out on the balcony he was so hot…must be why he jumped in the pool before breakfast. Smart guy!

My medication for migraine helped for about 8 hours in the day, so I suppose I shouldn’t complain.  Something tells me I would not fare well in India if I can’t even endure 33C …I wonder if perhaps, the headache is related to high blood pressure. I must check that out the next time it flares up.

Breakfast with the two couples and the owners chatting with us was a nice way to end the trip here.  They are really a lovely couple who run this B & B.  They are very involved in the community and even are performing in the local theatre.  I would love to head up there in September to see that play…we’ll see.

Day 6

On my way back, I stopped by my aunt and uncle to pick up the dinnerware and got to Kingston, at the same airbnb I had been on day 1 of my road trip.  Dave was alone in the living room and I was too tired to go out for dinner, so I asked if he could recommend a place to order in. He offered me a quinoa salad he had and I ended up chatting with him and his friend later until midnight.  They are really nice and interesting people.  They have travelled to South America a lot…if they ever open an airbnb there, I will definitely check it out.

Day 7

The next morning I went for brunch at my friend in Kingston and we had a nice visit.  I was telling her how much I wanted to travel more and she had just come back from a trip to India…and guess what?  The trip started in Kerala!  That is the province where Amma lives. She went with a group of teachers.  That reminds me to check out a professor at Université de Montréal who teaches Hinduism, organizes visits with students to India for several months.

It was really nice talking about our families, relationships and our children. I find we are so connected in many ways; surely we have a history from past lives…there are too many parallels.

My friend suggested I avoid Montreal on my return by taking Hwg 30 driving through Valleyfield which actually saved me almost an hour!

Now I am back and it’s nice to be home…Bette, was quite pleased to see me.  I was up at 4:00 with another headache and transferred to the living room where I have the a/c…awakened by the blaring of the alarm in the entrance because there was no electricity for some reason.  Oh well, I had to pick up something at UPS before bringing the car back, so it all worked out.

It’s nice to be home…now I need to save for another trip…I like getting away for a while.

bette 2

(c) Oliana 2016-08-15

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Wordless Wednesdays


(c)Clr’16-08-08 Day 1 – Road Trip
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moon beams haiku august 7 2016


Tournesol dans un Jardin

in the night sky
swell of my heart
crescent moon beams

© Tournesol’16-08-07

Daily Moments – At one with Nature

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In memory of Jane Reichhold – Aug. 7/16 (troibun)


Tournesol dans un Jardin

© Clr '16 © Clr ’16

Walking home with her grandson after a wonderful day in the city,  she could not help but admire the sky. Once, her grandson was sound asleep, she read about the sad news…such a loss in the world of haiku. And then, she understood the mysteries of the sky tonight.

dash of white clouds
stand out
in the night sky

dash of white clouds
splash of goodness
wings of an angel

stand out
seventeen syllables
more or less

in the night sky
greets an angel with a smile
crescent moon

© Tournesol’16-08-07

And then she read this beautiful haiku  posted  by Chèvrefeuille at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai, after she had written the above troiku.

without lights
the brightness of a blue sky
full of stars © Jane Reichhold

a star
stands outs tonight
for eternity

© Tournesol’16-08-07

shamanic journey
a red dragonfly comes
to guide the canoe ©…

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Dear Emma,


Well, I finally did it! I reserved a  car for a week starting this coming Sunday. Now hopefully that will push me out the door and take advantage of some of my vacation.  I plan to drive to Ontario and visit my family but taking the long way there rather than that boring 401 hwy.  As soon as I hit Cornwall, I am turning off to Hwg 2 which is closest to the lake.  As a young child, my father would take that route going to Toronto but what did I see?  What did I appreciate when I was given Gravol and fell asleep before we even crossed the Quebec border?

I am hoping to stop halfway which is usually around Kingston…so let’s say I hope to stop for the night in Prince Edward County in a small town near the lake, like maybe near Sand Banks. If I like it too much, I may stay longer…who knows?  I told my daughter I was going away for a week on a no where trip to unwind and get away from family drama that I have been, unfortunately, privy to regarding my mother’s estate.   Now it’s in the lawyer’s hands, and the capable hands of my daughter who is co-executor with me.

I found a few AirBnB’s in the area that are reasonable as well as looking to visit areas by Lake Erie which I have never had the pleasure. I have an old friend who has a campsite at Port Stanley, just passed Port dover, so we shall see where I will end up.  I love the water and quietness as well, so I am aiming for small towns that are not too touristy.

cornwall to PECounty

One day to relax before heading to Toronto

Picton ON to Port Dover and Port Talbot

Two day, one night at Family then on to explore Lake Erie.

Yes, Emma, I look forward to just relaxing and even if it does rain a few days, those are great days to kick up with a good book and snooze…oh, yeah, maybe write a bit too…no plans or pressure there though…not during the holidays.

I may write to you, though, Emma, to share my thoughts about the places I will see and people I may meet along the way.

©Oliana 2016/08/03

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My Sharonoa (The Ramones – Movie: Reality Bites)


Sunday lyric Song

 

I have many favourite songs from movies but the one that always seems to pop up and make me want to dance is “My Sharona” by the Ramones in the movie Reality Bites. I watched that movie several times with my daughter when she was a teenager.

The scene in the movie where this plays is when they stop to pick up food at the gas station. Winona Ryder’s father gave her a car and gas credit card when she graduated university.   I love that scene!  I think mostly I liked the movie because it brings back good memories with my daughter and me.  I chose this video because it shows scenes of the entire movie but the last bit is the scene at the gas station.

The Ramones – My Sharona

Lyrics

Ooh, my little pretty one, my pretty one
When you gonna give me some time, Sharona
Ooh, you make my motor run, my motor run
Got it coming off o’ the line, Sharona

Never gonna stop, give it up, such a dirty mind
I always get it up, for the touch of the younger kind
My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
M-m-m-my Sharona

Come a little closer, huh, a-will ya, huh?
Close enough to look in my eyes, Sharona
Keeping it a mystery, it gets to me
Running down the length of my thigh, Sharona

Never gonna stop, give it up, such a dirty mind
I always get it up, for the touch of the younger kind
My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
M-m-m-my Sharona
M-m-m-my Sharona

When you gonna give to me, a gift to me
Is it just a matter of time, Sharona?
Is it d-d-destiny, d-destiny
Or is it just a game in my mind, Sharona?

Never gonna stop, give it up, such a dirty mind
I always get it up, for the touch of the younger kind
My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
M-m-m-m-m-m-m-my, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
M-m-m-my Sharona
M-m-m-my Sharona
M-m-m-my Sharona
M-m-m-my Sharona

Ooooooo-ohhh, my Sharona
Ooooooo-ohhh, my Sharona
Ooooooo-ohhh, my Sharona

Lyrics

Ooh, my little pretty one, my pretty one
When you gonna give me some time, Sharona
Ooh, you make my motor run, my motor run
Got it coming off o’ the line, Sharona

Never gonna stop, give it up, such a dirty mind
I always get it up, for the touch of the younger kind
My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
M-m-m-my Sharona

Come a little closer, huh, a-will ya, huh?
Close enough to look in my eyes, Sharona
Keeping it a mystery, it gets to me
Running down the length of my thigh, Sharona

Never gonna stop, give it up, such a dirty mind
I always get it up, for the touch of the younger kind
My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
M-m-m-my Sharona
M-m-m-my Sharona

When you gonna give to me, a gift to me
Is it just a matter of time, Sharona?
Is it d-d-destiny, d-destiny
Or is it just a game in my mind, Sharona?

Never gonna stop, give it up, such a dirty mind
I always get it up, for the touch of the younger kind
My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
M-m-m-m-m-m-m-my, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
M-m-m-my Sharona
M-m-m-my Sharona
M-m-m-my Sharona
M-m-m-my Sharona

Ooooooo-ohhh, my Sharona
Ooooooo-ohhh, my Sharona
Ooooooo-ohhh, my Sharona

(c) Google Play Music

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art is relative (haibun)


Tournesol dans un Jardin

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder just as finding beauty in any kind of creative art. I don’t know why but this prompt “art” makes me thing of garbage day in the suburbs. Whenever you want to get rid of something that is still in fairly good condition, you usually put it to the curb a day or two before garbage day. I got rid of two sewing machines that way, a television and furniture. Within a few hours I saw cars or pick-up trucks collecting my wares. Someone’s trash can be another’s treasure and that is what makes me find the relation between art and trash.

I remember when I was a teenager and lived at our grandmother’s house. My sister and my bedroom was the furnace room in the basement. There was a small old bookshelf and I decided to paint it psychedelic style. Yep, I…

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pure surrender (troiku – haiga)


Tournesol dans un Jardin

enticing tansies
I grin at their pompous air
honey bees surrender

enticing tansies
along my stroll through the brush
catch my attention

I grin at their pompous air
each yellow blossom
flighty pom-poms

pure surrender
sipping the sweetness
of nectar

©Tournesol’16/07/29

Daily Moments July 29 2016 Pure surrender (troiku)

At One With Nature – CDHK

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risk free life (troiku)


Tournesol dans un Jardin

The prompt at Tuesday at Ten is “risk” this week and I decided I would write a troiku to share what a life without risk can be like:

life without risks
going through the motions
never dreaming

life without risks
is like beiges and egg shell
lacking bright colours

going through the motions
not living with your senses
more like a robot

never dreaming
keeps life safe and boring – lacks,
imagination

(c) Tournesol’16

The troiku is a special form of haiku created by Chèvrefeuille at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai

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heavens above (haiku)


Tournesol dans un Jardin

blue skies
whirling castles hang
catch my breath

©Tournesol’16/07/28

At one with nature CDHK

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fluttering wings (haiga)


Tournesol dans un Jardin

©Clr’16

butterfly wings
tickle my cheek – just like Mom
makes me smile

©Tournesol’16/07/29

At one with nature – CDHK

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by the rapids (haiku)


Tournesol dans un Jardin

© Clr'16 Rivière Richelieu, Chambly, Qc. © Clr’16 Rivière Richelieu, Chambly, Qc.

by the rapids
in solemn contemlation
soft breeze dries her tears

©Tournesol’16/07/28

AT one with nature – CDHK

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day’s end (haiga) Daily Moments July 27 2016


Tournesol dans un Jardin

©Clr'16 ©Clr’16

setting sun
bids farewell
I bow in reverence

©Tournesol’16/07/27

At one with Nataure – CDHK

Daily Moments July 27 2016

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raindrops and tell-tales (haiga)


Tournesol dans un Jardin

Capture

raindrops tell-tale
picture story
in my window

©Tournesol’16/07/27

At one with nature – CDHK

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young love (tanka)


Tournesol dans un Jardin

(c) Clr’16

(tanka)

running through puddles
midsummer rain
laughing like young children
hands her a scented flower
raindrops on rose blushed petals

(c) Tournesol’16

Secret Keeper Prompts 5 words: YOUNG RAIN LAUGH ROSE HAND 

Feeling a bit constrained to keep those 5 words in my poem, here are two other poems inspired by this flower:

(tanka)

splashing in puddles
feel so alive and young
laughing at life
hands her a gem flecked flower
curve of her rose tinted lips

(haiku)

raindrops on petals
midsummer rain
nature’s perfect gems

©Tournesol’16

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river at sunset ( Haiku )


Tournesol dans un Jardin

(c) Clr’16

river flows
sun slips under ripples
duck paddles home

(c) Tournesol’16

Writing “at one with nature” Heeding Haiku with Chèvrefeuiille at MindLoveMiserysMenagerie

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sides of solitude (haiga )


Tournesol dans un Jardin

Our host, Chèvrefeuille, asks us to write a haiku where the “spiritual way” is included. Here are two of our host’s:

strong hands praying
at the corner of the street –
God be with you   © Chèvrefeuille

deep silence
only whispered prayers –
the scent of incense    © Chèvrefeuille

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

streetcar haiga

a crowded streetcar
a stranger’s breath on my neck
still – I’m all alone

© Tournesol’16

empty park

playground at dusk
children safely tucked in
giggles still linger

©Tournesol’16

CDHK “spiritual ways”

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Hot embrace (haiku)


Tournesol dans un Jardin

After months apart
melting in each other’s arms
their lips lock

©Tournesol’16

Haiku Horizons “lock”

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Music moves the soul (tanka)


Tournesol dans un Jardin

Heart wants to burst
feeling the long lost love
until the song ends
daydreaming happy endings
lips start to curl

Lyrics for The Man Who Can’t Be Moved By The Script
Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I’m not gonna move,
Got some words on cardboard got your picture in my hand,
Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am,
Some try to hand me money they don’t understand,
I’m not, broke I’m just a broken hearted man,
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do,
How can I move on when I’m still in love with you
‘Cause if one day you wake up and find that you’re missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you’ll come back here to…

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summer fun (haiku)


Tournesol dans un Jardin

Inspired by Patricia Donegan’s haiku:

As rain drops diminish
I hear the tapping
of the monk’s wooden bell. © Patricia Donegan

after the downpour
swallows bathe in pools
of rainwater

©Tournesol’16

Tonight
the cypress tree & I
lean into the wind. © Patricia Donegan

sailboat hastens
tall white sail tautens
wind at her back

©Tournesol’16

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tango of love (troiku)


Tournesol dans un Jardin

bodies melt
yellow rose in her hair
tango of love

bodies melt
sowing their roots
forming one

yellow rose in her hair
fragrant
seductive

tango of love
acquiescence
fruitful foreplay

© Tournesol’16-07-24

Our host inspires us on the Gorse Tree (bush) and to learn more, read it at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai

The Troiku is a new form of haiku created by Chèvrefeuille at Carpe Diem

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bonding in the moonlight ( Troiku)


Tournesol dans un Jardin

under the moonlight
sisters
savouring last call

under the moonlight
melancholy moment
– just a hint

two sisters
bonds stronger than steel
but, for their master

savouring last call
hoping for one last treat
‘til sleep takes over

©Tournesol’16 – 07- 25

Daily Moments – July 25 2016  cherished moments  Troiku and Haiga

Two Second at Ten, Prompt “strong”

The Troiku is a new form of Haiku created by Chèvrefeuille.

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lazy afternoon (tan renga)


Tournesol dans un Jardin

Carpe Diem Tan Renga Challenge

the open window
screened with a web
leaf shadows
© Jane Reichhold

cicadas pierce the dense air
birds nap in the listless tree

© Tournesol’16

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final gifts (haiku)


Tournesol dans un Jardin

Chèvrefeuille challenges us at Carpe Diem withTheme Week (5) (5) The Fifth and Sixth Ray  as our inspiration:
Hilarion, Chohan of the fifth Ray, the Green Ray, the Ray of Truth and The Chohan of the Sixth Ray is Lady Nada, the Sixth Ray is the Pink Ray of Peace.

pure of heart
emulating deeds
seeking truth

seeking truth
everlasting peace
death’s reward

(c) Tournesol’16

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raindrops in the night (lune)


Tournesol dans un Jardin

raindrops on roses
like diamonds in the sky
shine in the moonlight

©Tournesol’16

daily moments July 22 2016 Raindrops in the night

 5-3-5 (lune)

Written for Haiku Challenge at PositivityBlogger, prompt “shine”

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swirls of grey Haiku


Tournesol dans un Jardin

looming swirls of grey
billowing
winds declare a storm

© Tournesol’16

Written for Haiku Horizons “wind”

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over the garden (haiku)


Tournesol dans un Jardin

(c) Community garden Montréal, Qc.

over the garden

twilight enters with shimmer

moonbeams smile

(c) Tournesol’ 16

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Daily Moments July 21 2016 off to the country


Tournesol dans un Jardin

Photo: Cheryl-Lynn 2013 Photo: Cheryl-Lynn 2013

Preparing for a five-day visit away, she fills bowls of water and dishes of kibble around the kitchen and living room; fans are placed strategically to have a nice breeze throughout the area.

off to the country
golden and shepherd await
feline left behind
meowing and nuzzling
reaping those last strokes

(c)Tournesol’16

© Clr '14 © Clr ’16  Bette

Daily Moments July 21 2016 off to the country

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Daily Moments July 20 2016 river flows (Haibun)


Tournesol dans un Jardin

Riding on the bus home late tonight she looked out the window and felt a surge of wellbeing.

river in the night
black ink scrolls
scribes to the full moon
letters of gold hues
moonbeams of happenstance

(c) Tournesol’16-07-20

Daily Moments July 20 2016 river flows

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Daily Moments Sky Watch July 17 2016


Tournesol dans un Jardin

moon says hello

sun’s final send-off
different shades of day’s end
moon says hello

©Tournesol’16

Daily Moments Sky Watch July 17 2016

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sunrise in the East (haibun)Photo ©Arianne & Sebastien


Tournesol dans un Jardin

This photo was taken by a friend and former colleague who is travelling with her partner on a cycling tour  in South-East Asia. Arianne and Sebastien are very generous in sharing some of their experiences and sights along the way at Tandem en Cavale on Facebook.

Being a sucker for sunrises and sunsets, I had to write something to one of their stunning photos.

arianne gravel kawah ljen July 16

Sunrise at Kawah Ijen, July 10, 2016.

all your hopes
hanging
in the dawning mist

© Tournesol’16/07/15

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hidden verses (tan renga)


Tournesol dans un Jardin

Here is a lovely haiku created by poetess, Pat R aka  JazzyTowers at Thoughts and Entanglements we are to complete this hokku in this Tan Renga Challenge at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai

wisteria sways –
pendulous blossoms in breeze
unspoken promise (Pat R)

Our mentor/host completed a stunning renga for this Tan Renga challenge:

wisteria sways –
pendulous blossoms in breeze
unspoken promise (Pat R)

drinking tea on the veranda
the sweet perfume of blue rain (Chèvrefeuille)

Now I am going to attempt to complete this beautiful hokku:

wisteria sways –
pendulous blossoms in breeze
unspoken promise (Pat R)

safe for a soft whisper
drifting in the zephyr

only nature hears
implicit lyrics float
with a lilt

©Tournesol’16

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Daily Moments – July 15/16 ~afternoon haze (troiku)


Tournesol dans un Jardin

fruit of a tree rests
even when heat mists over
cicadas sing

fruit of a tree rests
under the mist
heatwave

even when heat mists over
bullfrog
catches the fly

cicadas sing
afternoon lullaby
the old man snores

©Tournesol’16/07/15

Daily Moments – July 15, 2016 afternoon haze (Troiku)
Haiku my Heart

7c28b-6a00e552b43321883401675ed3381c970b-pi

To write a Troiku, visit the poet, Chèvrefeuille,  who created this new haiku form at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai where he hs daily meme.

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Daily Moments- July 13, 2016 – love is beautiful (haiku)


Tournesol dans un Jardin

©Clr’16

infinite beauty 
in the eye of the beholder
just like love

old couple hold hands
shoppers see enduring love
they see their first love

©Tournesol’16/07/13

July 13, 2016 Daily Moments – love is beautiful (haiku)

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Daily moments – July 13 2016 Joy haiku


Tournesol dans un Jardin

joy in giving
special  to the heart
a mother’s love

a mother’s love
uplifts the spirit
to lend a hand

©Tournesol’16

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wasted summer (free verse)


A summer seems wasted
in worry and apprehension
family greed and exploitation
under the pretense
of care and compassion
when all is really about control
self-indulgence and domination
elder care the biggest excuse
elder abuse their cunning ruse
good thing mother’s no longer here
she’d be sad and disappointed
how they are treating her douce moitié
instead they resorted to lies and deception
wishing I’d never been privy
to such abominations
but now all I can do is wait
keep my distance
conflict just makes my heart
beat too fast – accelerate
so all I can do is sit
and wait
sealing my future fate

(c) Oliana 2016-07-29

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never too late for comfort (haibun)


Last night I learned a colleague’s close relative died in May. I felt so bad since I am the “card lady” at work and normally a colleague or manager will alert me of a forgotten birthday, a birth or a death. I had not heard anything. I suppose these things happen when someone is away on vacation but still…

I remember how disappointed and alone I felt when managers had not told my colleagues in another city of my mother’s death even after I had given them permission to tell all staff there since they all knew the main reason for my transferring back to my home province.

I know that in our Western culture,”dead” seems to be a four-letter word for many. We are not comfortable with death. We say “passed away”, he or she is in a “better place” and so on and so on.

I remember a few months after Mom died, supervisors would ask me why I seemed under the weather and I had to literally remind them. I heard comments like, “Well she was sick for so long with dementia…it must be a relief.” Really? For whom?  Maybe the fact that I am in my 60’s some people may expect me to take this better…or that I was lucky to have my mom as long as I did. Yep, I sure was lucky but you know what? I still want her!  We all do.  That’s the child within mourning her mama.

I was sad for my colleague because not only did managers not tell the “card lady” but colleagues did not as well. So, today I decided two months later to not get a group card but to own up to my own personal feelings and do something from me to her…this is what I wrote in her sympathy card. I took a poem I had once written and personalized it for her. She comes from an area that is close to the water and felt this poem was fitting.

©Clr'16
©Clr’16

(troiku*)

remember him, as
gentle ripples on the water
memories not so long ago

remember him, as
times you spent together
may it bring a smile

gentle ripples on the water
subtle, yet genuine
may seem so so real

memories not so long ago
may songs echo in your heart
even if off-key !

©Tournesol’16/07/27

I sure am glad I have my close friends and especially (yes I said “especially) my blogging friends for the support I get here is priceless.

*A Troiku is a newly formed haiku created by Chèvrefeuille at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai where he offers daily haiku meme.

 

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Dear Emma, (music videos)


What the heck is happening to me tonight?!

I listen to music to block out the noise in the office and especially the talking in the background when I am on break or counselling on-line…usually I just listen to the music…I log onto Jango.com where I have a list of favourites…mostly Indie songwriters. I love the music and the words are usually thought provoking…poetry set to my kind of music.

I had not logged onto Jango in the past two weeks due to vacation time and last week I was tied up giving a clinical workshop every evening. So today, when I logged on, the first song (when you click a thumbs up, it means your favoured songs will repeat) I was not busy, just listening to the music waiting for a caller to log on to chat…I felt such a huge weight on my heart; I was not the girl in this song but I felt the pain this guy was feeling…silly, I know, but for most of the song my heart just swelled with so much empathy; tears rolled down my cheeks …and then, the last part of the song it was as if a huge weight lifted…my mind meandered here and there in storytelling mode and my muse must have changed the ending…You can see by the following Tanka I wrote.

(tanka)

Heart wants to burst
feeling the long lost love
until the song ends
daydreaming happy endings
lips start to curl

©Tournesol’16

Lyrics for The Man Who Can’t Be Moved By The Script
Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I’m not gonna move,
Got some words on cardboard got your picture in my hand,
Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am,
Some try to hand me money they don’t understand,
I’m not, broke I’m just a broken hearted man,
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do,
How can I move on when I’m still in love with you
‘Cause if one day you wake up and find that you’re missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you’ll come back here to the place that we’d meet,
And you’d see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.
So I’m not moving
I’m not moving
Policeman says son you can’t stay here,
I said there’s someone I’m waiting for if it’s a day, a month, a year,
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows,
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go.
‘Cause if one day you wake up and find that you’re missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you’ll come back here to the place that we’d meet,
And you’d see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.
So I’m not moving
I’m not moving
I’m not moving
I’m not moving
People talk about the guy
Who’s waiting on a girl
There are no holes in his shoes
But a big hole in his world
And maybe I’ll get famous as man who can’t be moved,
And maybe you won’t mean to but you’ll see me on the news,
And you’ll come running to the corner
‘Cause you’ll know it’s just for you
I’m the man who can’t be moved
I’m the man who can’t be moved
‘Cause if one day you wake up and find that you’re missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you’ll come back here to the place that we’d meet,
And you’d see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.
So I’m not moving
I’m not moving
I’m not moving
I’m not moving
Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag not I’m not gonna move.
Songwriters: STEPHEN KIPNER, ANDREW FRAMPTON, MARK SHEEHAN, DANIEL O’DONOGHUE
© Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc., Universal Music Publishing Group   For non-commercial use only.

Then the second song was another heartbreaking song!! I love it though. Gravity is a song Sara Bareilles wrote right after a break-up. The fact that she plays an acoustic guitar drives it even more to my heart.

Why so sappy tonight? I wondered. It must be the summer love blues or just the music carries me to where the songwriter was and singer is.

Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long
No matter what I say or do
I’ll still feel you here ’till the moment I’m gone
You hold me without touch
You keep me without chains
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love
And not feel your reign
Set me free, leave me be
I don’t want to fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am, and I stand
So tall, just the way I’m supposed to be
But you’re on to me and all over me
Oh, you loved me ’cause I’m fragile
When I thought that I was strong
But you touch me for a little while
And all my fragile strength is gone
Set me free, leave me be
I don’t want to fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am, and I stand
So tall, just the way I’m supposed to be
But you’re on to me and all over me
I live here on my knees as I try to make you see
That you’re everything I think I need here on the ground
But you’re neither friend nor foe though I can’t seem to let you go
The one thing that I still know is that you’re keeping me down
You’re keeping me down, eh ooh
You’re on to me, on to me, and all over
Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long
Songwriters
SARA BAREILLES
Published by
  Sara Bareilles – Gravity Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Finally the next song spoke to me.  It felt like it explained what I do, the work I love as I try my best to “stand by youths” despite some  parents who may have forgotten or may not have known how to respond to the needs of their child.

Yep, that last song truly completed my shift.  I straightened my shoulders, stuck out my chest, feeling pretty darn good.  I do feel privileged to be here, embracing their stories…standing by them. 

Thanks for listening, Emma.

©Oliana 2016/07/25

©Clr'16 (Me at work)
©Clr’16 (Me at work)

A FINE FRENZY LYRICS

“The Beacon”
You say your time has come
You’re tired of waking up
Don’t be obscene, I can’t conceive of
Living without you

You say you drag us down
No one should want you now

When I start to cry, you kiss my eyes and say
I’m not allowed to

Burning beacon in the night
Can’t feel its heat, or see its light
That single solitary guide, it must get lonely there sometimes

You were a child forgot
Lessons of love untaught
Now no embrace can quite replace
The one that never found you

I was raised tenderly
All that was taught to me
I will apply, your parents tried but they didn’t know how to

Burning beacon in the night
Can’t feel its heat, or see its light
That single solitary guide, it must get lonely there sometimes

Let me stand by you
The honor is mine
Let me stand by you
Loneliest light, loneliest light, loneliest light

Burning beacon in the night
Can’t feel its heat, or see its light
That single solitary guide, it must get lonely there sometimes

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What’s Going On – What’s Happening Brother (music video) Marvin Gaye


 

It is Song Lyric Sunday today and the theme is to choose a song that represents what is going on in the world today. Fortunately, I stopped buying the newspaper after 9/11 as well as watching the news and I cut off television (cable and satellite)  altogether two years ago leaving me with time to write and read what I choose. If I want to know what is going on in the world there is always a friend on social networks or on WordPress that keeps me informed.

Back to the song today...naturally I am biased since Marvin Gaye is one of my favourite singers whose songs still represent our world today…this video sums it all up in two of his heartfelt songs.

“What’s Going On” Marvin Gaye

Mother, mother
There’s too many of you crying
Brother, brother, brother
There’s far too many of you dying
You know we’ve got to find a way
To bring some lovin’ here today – Ya

Father, father
We don’t need to escalate
You see, war is not the answer
For only love can conquer hate
You know we’ve got to find a way
To bring some lovin’ here today

Picket lines and picket signs
Don’t punish me with brutality
Talk to me, so you can see
Oh, what’s going on
What’s going on
Ya, what’s going on
Ah, what’s going on

In the mean time
Right on, baby
Right on
Right on

Mother, mother, everybody thinks we’re wrong
Oh, but who are they to judge us
Simply because our hair is long
Oh, you know we’ve got to find a way
To bring some understanding here today
Oh

Picket lines and picket signs
Don’t punish me with brutality
Talk to me
So you can see
What’s going on
Ya, what’s going on
Tell me what’s going on
I’ll tell you what’s going on – Uh
Right on baby
Right on baby

Google Play – lyrics

What’s happening, Brother– Marvin Gaye

Hey baby, what’cha know good
I’m just gettin’ back, but you knew I would
War is hell, when will it end,
When will people start gettin’ together again
Are things really gettin’ better, like the newspaper said
What else is new my friend, besides what I read
Can’t find no work, can’t find no job my friend
Money is tighter than it’s ever been
Say man, I just don’t understand
What’s going on across this land
Ah what’s happening brother,
Ay, what’s happening, what’s happening my man
Are they still gettin’ down where we used to go and dance
Will our ball club win the pennant,
Do you think they have a chance
And tell me friend, how in the world have you been
Tell me what’s out and I want to know what’s in
What’s the deal man, what’s happening
What’s happening brother
What’s happening brother
Ah what’s happening brother
What’s happening my man
Ah what’s happening brother
Say it man!
What’s happening brother
What’s been shaken up and down the line
I want to know ’cause I’m slightly behind the time

Lyrics, Google Play

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chasing time (haibun)


The concept of time has changed so much over the years. When I was a child in the 50’s and 60’s it was like a flash…a wink and that moment in time just flew by.   Today a second is actually longer since the age of technology.  Look at how many image spontaneously flash by in a thirty second to sixty second ad on the television.  We are bombarded with subliminal messages and split second images that are geared to alter our perception in favour of the sponsors of these ads.   Somehow that 30 second ad may influence me to get up and go to the fridge or pantry.  Maybe I’ll just fire up my laptop and order something on-line because “I have to hurry while products still last.” (chuckles)

Our limited attention span has waned to the point that teaching children, teens and adults  is more and more challenging.  it is somewhat entertaining and if that teacher does not have a handle on keeping his or her students captivated…many will act out, yawn or just plain fall asleep.

I remember when I took Psych 101 in the mid-eighties.  The professor discussed this issue on how it gets challenging to retain students’ attention.  She shared a story about one of her colleagues who midway a lecture when he noticed some students’ appearing sluggish, he would shout out “Time to make the donut!”  Of course that had NOTHING to do with the topic of his lecture and it sure did catch the students’ attention.

Now with smart phones and tablets in almost every person’s bag,  people expect to get a response to a letter immediately, some even within seconds.  I hear youths who call our helpline distraught because their boyfriend or friend did not respond to their text message immediately.  Instant gratification is what comes to mind when I think of “second”.

That really is too bad because isn’t there a quote that says something like, “Good things come to those who wait!” or something like that.

Of course there is the age old excuse we give to our children (blushing now, I am guilty of this more than once) when we tell them “I`ll be there in a sec’” and really it can be minutes or hours depending on what we are doing.   What are we thinking?  If we know we have a task that will take anywhere between fifteen minutes to an hour, why on earth say, “I’ll be there in a sec.”?    Maybe that is partly due to multi-tasking…doing house chores, talking on the phone, talking to a friend over coffee and child is bored (of course!) or fixing supper and one or more children needing help with their homework.

I am guilty of many of those faux pas, I’m afraid, and I cringe to think what I may have done if smart phones had been “in” in the 80’s!

So these are some my thoughts on “second”.  What comes to mind when you hear “second”?

tic toc goes the clock
nature counts each second
time is running out

(c) Tournesol’16

 

Second is the prompt at the Friday reminder at Stream of Consciousness Saturday with LindaGHill.

 

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Best girls ever!!


(c)clr’16 Heidi and Mia

I’m their nana and my son is gone on a short trip to the Maritimes…so these poor dears were left at 6am Wednesday morning and I was stuck in traffic and did not get to them from work until 2:30am….they never messed up their little rest area and waiting patiently for me. What amazing girls they are.

It is nice to be in the country and admire that full moon.

(c)Clr’16 Heidi
(c) Clr<16 Mia

 

 

 

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More Than Words (Song Lyric Sunday)


I can think of many songs that remind me of great memories with a friend or a lover. I heard one of those first songs that Karuna chose for this prompt at LivingLearningAndLettingGo.  The Byrds’ Turn Turn Turn was a song I played so often. I really should have purchased the 45 record but I suppose it would not have made the moment special playing it over and over for a week by the lake with my friend. Our first crushes, first motorcycle rides, first boat rides with someone that was not our relative. Yep, that`s what that song conjures up for me.

The first song that popped in my mind when I saw this prompt however, is what love truly means to me and this particular song says it all. I first heard it on the radio in the early ’90’s and I decided to buy the CD. Boy was I shocked when I heard the other songs were not quite as soft. My kids got a kick out that one, so I gave the CD to my son and my children made a mixed tape for me with More Than Words playing on both sides of the tape…perfect for my trips from Montreal to Toronto when I dared to sing out loud on the drive home.

I used to post music every Thursday or Friday a while ago, so this  Song Lyric Sunday Theme prompt is a nice return to that exercise.

Have a great week!

©Oliana 20216/07/17

 

Extreme – More Than Words

 

More Than Words

Extreme

Sayin’ I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It’s not that I want you
Not to say it, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me
Cause I’d already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two?
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away?
Then you couldn’t make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words
(lad di da da di da)

Now that I’ve tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don’t ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then… Full lyrics on Google Play

Lazy Sunday


So I was reading on this lazy Sunday afternoon and I looked at Bette and asked her “What d’you want?”


She usually talks to me or reaches out to me with her paw but thus time she just stared… 

and simply jumped on the arm of my chair and looked at me as if to say,”Isn’t it obvious?!”

I was really into my book so I dared to ignore her…

Well!! She hopped over me to the window ….

Just a lazy afternoon …she got the message but we’re still friends.  

searching your path(troibun)


Some journeys may seem insurmountable; not all paths need be taken alone.

Tournesol dans un Jardin

When I see the word “climb”the image of Maria (Julie Andrews) comes to mind and I hear the finale of The Sound of Music,  “Climb Every Mountain”. In life, we are presented many mounds and foothills to surmount…some seeming too difficult to climb. Some do not always see the different paths to get to the top; others do not realize they don’t have to do it all alone…

********

looking wide-eyed
yet – time moves at a snail’s pace
eyelids beckon

child looks wide-eyed
mound of sand with tiny holes
tiny critters climb

yet-  time moves at a snail’s pace
despite grappling wit
millimetre steps

eyelids weigh
resolutely reach the top
misses finale

(c) Tournesol’16

Haiku Horizons “climb”

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